Another Not So Secret Struggle

I struggle in my prayer life. I want to pray for everybody...really I do. I want to pray for the missionaries, underground churches, the President, the troops etc...but I forget. Embarrassingly I mainly pray for myself, Derek, my kids, and my immediate family.

How do you manage your prayer life? Do you have a system or sorts? I would love to hear about it.

Again any tips and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks and God bless!

Master Your Tongue

As you've noticed the title of my blog is "Beautiful In God's Eyes", but I've not actually read the book. *Hangs head* I started, but felt so condemned at how I didn't measure up that I quit reading. Well, today I started reading it again. The part that resonated with me today was

Master your tongue:

• Speak less often (Proverbs 10:19)
• Speak only after we think about what we're going to say (Proverbs 15:28)
• Speak only what is sweet and pleasant (Proverbs 16:21)
• Speak only what is wise and kind (Proverbs 31:26)

I don't do ANY of these things. God laid on my heart today as I was praying that I tear other women down because of my insecurities as a wife and mother. I am by no means excusing this wretched behavior.

Do you find yourself doing this too? Do you say things like "I can't believe she would feed her child that?" or "She should spank them more" or "I can't believe she buys prepared food" or "Look how dirty her house is" Isn't it awful? I feel awful just writing it and even worse admitting that I think those things. Instead of spending the energy criticizing these woman I could be spending that energy praying for them!

This book is amazing and I'm only chapters in. I know it's a process becoming this woman, but I'm excited to know that I'm becoming a jewel in my husband's crown.

If you are looking to become a more Godly wife, mother, and person than I strongly recommend Elizabeth George's Beautiful in God's Eyes.

My Secret Struggle Is Not So Secret Anymore

It's not a secret anymore because I am going to share it with you. I'm going to share because I would like lots of feedback.

I struggle with my devotions. Oh how I want them. Oh how I long to have that wonderful intimate time with my Lord to be revitalized and nourished. But every time I sit down I don't know what to do. I pray and then just sit there.

Do you guys have any devotional books that you use? This is weighing heavy on my heart. I would appreciate any tips or suggestions you may have.

Thanks and God bless!

Tired...So Tired

Derek went back to work today. Grandma Kay and my neighbor have the kids today so I can rest. The only thing I keep thinking is how much stuff there is to do, but I'm making myself take it easy.

The surgery was a success, Yay! Being in the hospital was absolutely horrible. I'm not exaggerating either. The nausea and vomiting was almost more than I could take, but God was faithful. There were a couple of times I felt I was going to die so I whispered a prayer to God for deliverance and He was merciful.

I was sharing a room with a crazy woman. She was on the wrong floor I tell you. Instead of using her call button for the nurse she would SCREAM "NURSE! NURSE!" The nurse would come in and she's say something like "I'm thirsty" She would also call people in to tell them that she had an envelope full of money that she knows they stole from her. She talked about somebody clearing her house out and her mother dying and the house being sold. It was all pretty incoherent rambling, I asked to be moved so I could get some sleep and they did end up moving me.

The left side of my lower lip is weak. If feels like when you come home from the dentist and your lip is still numb. My left eye is weak as well, it doesn't blink very well. I'm sure I am painting you a very nice picture about the way I look. Derek says I look cute as ever, but I know he is obligated to say things like that-he is my husband after all. Did I mention my ear is numb? That's a really weird feeling. I can't believe how tired I've been.

I'm not complaining-really. The doctor was happy about the way it went and he is pretty certain it is benign.

So far there hasn't been any sweating or crying when I'm hungry so that's a good sign.

Goodbye For A Little Bit

Well, it's finally almost here---my surgery. It's getting done on Friday. I'm starting to get anxious, but I'm trusting the Lord. He is my Heavenly Father and He will take care of me. I would appreciate any prayers you could throw my way.

I probably won't blog tomorrow, I have a lot to do since I probably won't feel like it after my surgery. My to do list for tomorrow includes, but is not limited to:

1. Laundry
2. Bathroom
3. Dishes-yuck!
4. Vacuum
5. Organize my clutter
6. Set out the kids' clothes (so Brian can dress them on Friday)

Brian (my brother-in-law) is coming to stay the night tomorrow (Thursday) since I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. He is taking Friday off from work to be with kids while Derek and I are at the hospital. Isn't that nice of him? I'm sure he would appreciate any prayers you could throw his way.

Well, goodbye for now. I'll let you know how it all goes.

Weird Dream

I haven't been that nervous for my surgery on Friday. I feel more inconvienced than anything. This is disrupting my entire life and I feel annoyed.

Last night I had a dream that they intebated me (I learned that from Grey's). I ended up swallowing the tube and I was choking. It was so real that when I woke up I felt out of breath from my "choking" experience and pain in my throat from the tube.

I guess even though I don't feel nervous I am and it's coming out in my dreams.

Just thought I'd share my funny dream with you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I have the most wonderful husband ever. I don't usually brag on my blog, but today I am going to be a blogger bragger.

Last Saturday Derek came home from work with a beautiful card for me. It was wonderful, I love surprises like that. This morning he surprised me again with a Valentine's card and a box of chocolates.

He knows how to make me feel special.

That's me bragging on my blog. Hope your Valentine's Day is very special!