6 Years and A Month

Alexander turned 6 on July 11. I meant to do a post then about him, but it was a crazy time.

For right now he is obsessed about Batman and becoming a Fireman. He'll tell you stories about how he had to put out a fire and save one of his firemans. He's such a joy to be around. Very smart for his age. He's sensitive too. He senses my moods and if I'm crying he'll usually break down. He loves God and loves to learn.

My water broke surprisingly on a Sunday afternoon. Derek and I drove to the hospital to find I was already dilated to a 4. He was born the next day at 5:06 p.m. He was 4 weeks early, but healthy. I thought I had plenty of time to buy the essentials so some friends had to bring us a car seat so we could leave the hospital! I sat in the back seat with him in his car seat to "watch" him (like he was going to escape his car seat at a day old).

Him and Ashley are starting kindergarten this fall. He's already said that if anybody messes with his sister that he will "take care" of it. Part of me is said he is no longer a baby or even a toddler. I'm happy though that he loves Jesus and takes praying seriously. I'm excited to see the boy he's becoming. God truly blessed our lives when he gave us Ander.

Alexander in the Hospital

Alexander 1 Month Old

Derek and Alexander (9 mos)

Alexander's 1st Birthday

My Batman

My Fire Captain

Half A Party With No Sound

I lost my voice. Again. I woke up Sunday morning without it. This is a common occurrence for me. So much so that when one of my favorite people in the world saw me at Ash's party and I said (more like whispered) "Hi" She was like "AGAIN!?!". Sadly yes. I had surgery to try and correct this chronic laryngitis issue. Someday I'll post on the actual surgery. If I'm not feeling vain that day I may even include non-flattering pictures. Usually I can roll with having no voice, but today I had a birthday party to facilitate.   Derek just said we'd roll with it and he'd do whatever needed to be done. Ah, I love that guy.

I got Ashley all gussied up in her birthday finery before church and then we stopped by Starbucks for my favorite Venti 9 pump Breve Cinnamon Dulce. You read that right. 9 pumps. I needed it for my throat. No really I did.

Church was awesome. I love it there. Our pastor, John, is great. I love his stories and God really speaks through him. We usually stick around forever to talk, but we had to cut out early 'cause we had the party at 1 and we had to change and all that jazz.

We got to Silverbow pizza on time and the party was great. Ash had lots of fun and made out like a bandit. This was the first "big girl party". We invited a couple of friends from school and church. I just wish I could've spent more time with everyone. The theme by the way was iCarly. Have you ever seen that show? It's awesome!! I love it so much. I think for my next birthday I want an iCarly party. Here are some pictures from the party. Enjoy.

The Party Girl Posing

More Posing

On "Whiplash Bambi" 

Ali, Ashley, Maya

Ashley Ray

Mike and Avis 

Avis and Ashley

Angela and Ashley 

Tony, Ashley, and Airika

Lisa and Ashley

Josiah

Griz, Justice, Ander

iCarly cake!

An Answer to Prayer

I thought I'd let you all know that Derek told Grandma Kay last night that we are moving. He didn't tell her when we are moving (I can't believe how not into details men are), but she was generally o.k. with it. She knows that we need to go where Derek can get a good job and right now that isn't Butte. I'm sure there will be tears and heart sickness in the future, but God really answered a prayer where she was concerned.

I'm going to try to make these last few weeks great for her and the kids. I want to give her every opportunity to see the kids before we move.

Another prayer is that God will soothe Alexander's tender heart when we move. He is very close to her and will miss her terribly. He has gone before us on all of our concerns and I'm sure He will with this one too.

I guess I shouldn't be amazed at His goodness, but I am. I can't put into words right now how much I am in awe of Him and the works He has done in the last week.

Thank you again for all of your prayers.

God In His Saving Grace

My precious Alexander asked Jesus into his heart this morning! How wonderful is that?

Yesterday at dinner Alexander and I had a conversation that went a little something like this:

Alexander: "Where is God?"
Me: "In Heaven."
Alexander: "I want to go there and be with God."
Me(not really knowing what to say): "You can't honey until you die and then you can only get to Heaven if you accept Jesus in your heart."
Alexander: "I want to do that."
Me: Silence

I thought that maybe it was just a 3 year old being curious or something so I praised God for the sweet things he said and sadly did nothing. Until I talked to my Mom this morning and told her about the conversation and she reminded me that God had prompted his heart. That God is calling Alexander early. She also reminded me of the story of Samuel.

So this morning when Alexander got up I reminded him of our conversation yesterday and asked him if he still wanted to accept Jesus in his heart and he said yes. So we prayed and Alexander asked Jesus to come into his heart and save him. I know he probably doesn't know what exactly that means, but he will. And I know God has big plans for him and is indeed calling him early.

Happy Birthday!!

It is Alexander's birthday today! He is 3 years old. This little boy blesses my heart so much. He has the most giving heart. He's always wanting to help. He also will hug me and tell me he loves me for no reason at all.

The sad thing is that I can't tell him it's his birthday today. We aren't having his party until Sunday and since he probably doesn't understand why he can't have his cake and presents today since it is actually his birthday I'm saving the hoopla for Sunday.

He will finally get his bike, he's been talking about it for months and months. I'm attempting a car cake. I will post pictures after I make it. Let's pray it's a little tastier than Ashley's. The writing gel on her cake, I found out, wasn't actually writing gel-it was food coloring. No writing gel this time, I should be safe.

My Sweet Little Girl

So this is my pretty princess after she was born. I love her with all my heart. I thought I would write about this because it's been on my heart for awhile. I've talked to my Mom about it, but that's about it. I thought maybe if I got it out I could sort through it better.

I will start from the very beginning.

Ashley was born 5 weeks early. Her lungs were premature so she spent a week in the hospital. I didn't get to hold her until she was a day old. I'd go to see her a couple times a day once I was released. I would have spent every waking moment there, but I had Alexander to reassure and to speak truthfully it was absolutely exhausting sitting there watching my little girl breath from tubes in her nose knowing she spent her nights alone and maybe scared.

Once I brought her home things were hard. I was adjusting to having an 11 month old and a newborn. I was to say the least exhausted. Ashley never really wanted to be held. She wanted to eat and be laid down. She didn't need me. That was a hard thought to process.

It was so different with Alexander. I bonded with him right away and he always needed me. Alexander and I had had such a strong connection. I didn't have that with Ashley, I constantly felt like I was playing favorites. I also felt like maybe I didn't love her. I now know they were lies from the enemy. I believed them though and Satan got a foothold in our family. It was awful. I've never been in a darker place in my life.

We came out of it though. I got where I needed to be with the Lord and He reassured me.

Ashley needs me, I can see that now. He helped me to see that.

She is better with affection. She'll actually sit on your lap for a couple minutes at a time. The Lord has brought me so far. The feelings of inadequacy as a mother only come every now and then instead of all the time.

If you have ever had a similar experience I would love to hear it. I hope this made sense and conveyed what I wanted it to. God was faithful and answered my prayers.

The Footprints in the Sand poem is right on. Even in those times when you feel your loneliest and see that there are one set of footprints or one set of tears staining your pillow. Take heart! He is carrying you and is crying right along side you.