"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"

~Philippians 1:6

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My Sunday, Marrow Results, and My Foolish Panic

First off, thank you for the outpouring of support, well wishes, and prayers on Sunday. They are so appreciated. I love that God has blessed Derek and I with such a wonderful, prayerful church family. You all bless my heart.

God blessed my Sunday immensely. I got to see all of you and spend time with one of my dearest friends who is like a sister. It's funny, I didn't plan on seeing her, but God had other plans. We were supposed to see each other so we could encourage one another in the Lord. He is so good!

I picked the kids up and the drive back went fine other than hitting some heavy traffic outside of
Easton. We were literally stopped on the freeway. I say that's not what the freeway is for, you are supposed to go fast (of course by that I mean the speed limit).

So now with the stuff you probably want to know. We had clinic today and they got the results from his day 80 marrow from Monday (he was actually day 82 when they did it). The results were great. There is a percentage they look for when they do a biopsy/aspiration. This percentage gauges how well Brian's cells are growing in Derek's body. The last marrow they did (before Monday's) was at 44%, it is now at 66%. The doctors are impressed by these numbers. It means the graph is successful and growing on it's own. Praise God! Derek is doing well other than the fluid retention he is experiencing. They prescribed him a diuretic that will hopefully get rid of all the water. I will let you know how it goes.

Now for my foolish panic. It really was foolish because at the root of my panic was a lack of trust in God. I asked if they had a date yet for when we go home (thinking we had like 3 weeks). The doctor then says "Probably next week or early the next one". I'm thinking WHAT?!?. We don't have a house, I don't have a job, we're not packed etc...For those who know me well know I like to come up with all sorts of plans and not just 1 plan, there has to be 3 plans in case you know the other 2 don't work out. I start laying these out in my head. Thinking of people to call and papers to fill out. I'm exhausted just writing it. After the doctor left Derek (he knows me well) asks what I was doing because he said and I quote "I know that look". He tried to calm and reassure me. I say try because I wasn't listening. I wanted to panic, I at least then felt like I was doing something even if it was the wrong thing. When we got home I tried to make some phone calls and do some things, but they all came to a dead end. Derek in his wisdom said "God doesn't want you figuring it out." His answer irritated me at the time because I knew he was right and in my pride I didn't want him to be. After we laid the kids down Derek told me I needed to read the excerpt for today in 'My Utmost For His Highest'. The title: Are You Ever Troubled? Immediately I thought, every stinking day. I sobered up and prayed for understanding and acceptance. It was amazing.

"When our Lord speaks peace, He creates peace, because the words that He speaks are always "spirit, and they are life" (John 6:63"
"A peace that comes from looking into His face and fully understanding and receiving His quiet contentment"
"If you are not right with God, you can never turn your mind anywhere but on yourself. Allowing anything to hide the face of Jesus Christ from you either causes you to become troubled or gives you a false sense of security."
"...If you only try to worry your way out of the problem, you destroy His effectiveness in you, and you deserve whatever you get. We become troubled because we have not been taking Him into account. When a person confers with Jesus Christ, the confusion stops, because there is no confusion in Him. Lay everything out before Him, and when you are faced with difficulty, bereavement, and sorrow, listen to Him say, "Let not your heart be troubled..."(John 14:27)"
-Excerpts from "My Utmost For His Highest" (August 26)

Sorry about how long those were, but they really spoke to my heart. I give it all to Him and trust that He take care of it, He has so far.

Prayer requests: A house in Yakima with 3 bedrooms that allows a dog, a job for me; preferably secretarial work, trust in Him, and listening more than talking.

Hope you are all doing well.

God bless!

No comments:

Post a Comment