"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"

~Philippians 1:6


Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Tangibles and The Intangibles

What is tangible? What does the word mean? Well, dictionary.com defines it as capable of being touched; discernible by the touch; material or substantial. real or actual, rather than imaginary or visionary: the tangible benefits of sunshine. definite; not vague or elusive: no tangible grounds for suspicion. (of an asset) having actual physical existence, as real estate or chattels, and therefore capable of being assigneda value in monetary terms.


So tangible is something that can be touched, something with a "physical existence". Rutherford is tangible. My Mac is tangible. Two things that I love and am thankful for. My pretty white car is tangible. She's such a good car. My Bible is also tangible. I'm sure by now, you are getting the point of the tangibles. I love the tangibles, they're fun and they make my life easier (sometimes). 


Now let's see what intangible means. Dictionary.com defines it as not tangible; incapable of being perceived by the sense of touch, as incorporeal or immaterial things; impalpable. not definite or clear to the mind: intangible arguments. (of an asset) existing only in connection with something else, as the goodwill of a business.


Intangible is something we can't touch then. Love. Friendship. Curiosity (I put this because I am curious about everything!). Morals and values. Joy. Again, you're getting the idea of the intangibles.


Now on to the reason for the blog and these definitions and examples. It's Christmastime and there are presents involved. I love presents, I love getting stuff. I think that's a hard thing for us to admit. We fear it makes us seem greedy and materialistic. It can if you take it too far or obsess about it. But I think it's ok to want things. We just can't let it consume us. We often though see the tangibles and want them, but we forget about the intangibles and how important they are. 


I'll relate it to football (I know, it always comes back to football). The intangibles are what make a player great, the intangibles separate the good players from the great players. Lets take a biased example. Tom Brady was the 199th pick of the draft. In football that sucks, usually it means you are destined to serve as a backup or the practice team. His rookie year he backed up Drew Bledsoe. His second year in week 2 (I think) he had to come in for Drew Beldsoe who was injured. That year Brady took the team all the way to the Superbowl. Pick 199 who nobody wanted or thought could do it proved everybody wrong. Wanna know why (I know you do)? He had the intangibles. At the combine everybody thought Brady was too skinny or slow or had an average arm. So maybe his mechanics weren't perfect. But the intangibles? He had those in spades. Intelligence, quick thinking on the field, field awareness, pocket presence. Everybody says that's what makes Brady great.


Ok, so I'm done with the football analogy. What I'm getting at is that we should be thankful for the intangibles in our lives. They make us great, they make us who we are. We should desire to have the intangibles more than the tangibles. Don't get me wrong I love my electronics. Rutherford and Ambrosia are beautiful and wonderful, but I would give them up in a heart beat if it meant Derek could be completely healthy again. That is another intangible we take for granted: our health. I've seen and experienced what happens when your health fails you. It sucks to put it bluntly. Love, friendship, joy, laughter, etc... are all intangibles and without them our souls and spirits would slowly die, leaving us with an empty and miserable shell. 


I implore you this Christmas season to count your intangibles and thank God for them. If you're having money troubles and aren't getting the tangibles under your tree, try to think of the intangibles you have and smile. If then you still feel you have nothing, always remember God loves you. You have His love forever and that, my readers, is the greatest intangible of all.


Merry Christmas! May God bless you and your family!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

You Know, Whatever

Do you ever suddenly feel angry or irritated? I really hope not because it is a helpless and upsetting feeling. The pills I'm on cause mood swings and all of the sudden I'll find myself angry or irritated with everybody around me. I've been able to recognize it now and I just have to get by myself and pray, read, or write. Sometimes all three. The problem too is once I know I'm angry for no reason I get even angrier! So frustrating. I'm not an angry person at all. Passionate? Yes, but angry? No. This is one of those times and because I don't want to ruin anybody's Sunday I decided to retreat to my room and sit on my messy bed to write it all out.

Remember how I told you I took my finals? Well, I checked my grades for the millionth time and saw my math grade. Before I reveal my math grade I'm going to re-iterate my tendency for perfectionism. Perfect in this case would be an A. This tendency gets so bad sometimes that I actually feel embarrassed to tell people grades and what not that aren't perfect. I know I tried my hardest and I should be proud I even passed my math class with how much I struggled, but anyway. I got a B. I missed getting an A by 15 points. I go through and think of all the areas I could've done more to make up those 15 points. I will struggle with this for awhile, but I'll eventually get over it. Poor Derek has to hear me lament my B. I know he's proud of me though and that makes up for a little bit of my shame. 

My sister had surgery on Friday, I'm happy to report she is hungry, but doing well. I wish I could of been there to help, but my prayers from afar will have to suffice.

Well, I should finish getting ready for church. I don't want to hold the show up. Thanks for listening.

On a side note...7 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

Friday, December 16, 2011

One Of My Favorite People Ever!

My Dad is here. We picked him up from the airport yesterday and I'm so happy. My Dad is an amazing person and I can say he is one of the people I feel closest to. My Dad and I just get each other. Our sense of humor is the same and we bond over our obscene love for all junk food. He'll be here until January 4th and I intend to cherish this time.

I'm on school break until the January 3rd. I took my finals this week and although I haven't gotten my grades back for my classes I can say that I feel really good about them. I'm proud of myself for my math class, as you know I'm terrible with math and it's something that doesn't come easy for me. I worked really hard and I know that I'll at least get a B, but I'm sincerely hoping for an A. I made the Dean's list for my classes last semester. I was so happy that all of my hard paid off.

Last bit of news is Alexander lost a tooth! My baby lost a tooth, it seems so crazy to me. He's growing so fast and while I'm trying to hold on to ever precious second it seems to be passing me by.

I'm so excited for Christmas!! It's my absolute favorite time of year. There is so much joy. I put presents under the tree today and I feel so much joy. I can't wait to see the kids' faces when they see their presents under the tree.

I'm going to sign off now, it's almost time to pick Ander and Ashley up from school. If I don't blog before Christmas I want you all to know how much I wish for you all to have such a blessed Christmas-presents or not. Remember the reason we celebrate this wonderful holiday. Jesus was born so that someday He could go to the cross and save us all.

God bless!

Friday, December 9, 2011

In The State Of Being Appalled

I love to read the paper. I also hate to read the paper. I love reading the sports page to find what they aren't saying about Tom Brady and the Patriots. I love to read the funnies each day and I love to be informed. I also hate to be informed. The rest of this blog is probably going to be shocking (I'm going to share some stories I read) to some so if you don't want to read on please exit now, I completely understand if you don't want to read the rest.

I read a story about a mother that after a 7 hour standoff shot her two children who were 10 and 12 and then committed suicide. One of her children died on Wednesday and the other one died yesterday. This isn't the first story I've read even recently about mothers turning on their children. I read another story about a man that lives an hour from Butte who admitted, ADMITTED, to molesting four boys. He received 45 years in prison with 29 suspended. That means he received 16 years in prison. 16 years for ADMITTING to molesting 4 boys. It will take a lot longer than 16 years for those 4 boys to get over being violated. What that man deserves is to be killed. This country can't continue to allow these poisonous individuals to exist in society, prison or not. These are just 2 stories I'm sharing with you, honestly I'd rather not share them, but I had to to make my point. What kind of society are we living in that a mother would kill her children? What kind of society are we living in that our justice system gives an admitted child predator 16 years in prison when several studies have found that sexual offenders can't be rehabilitated? I know that God will have His vengeance. I also know that God has these people in His hands. I'm just so appalled that the state of the human race. The wickedness we humans are capable of makes me sick. I look at God and all His glory and love and can't believe that something He created could be capable of such atrocities. I guess that shows how damaging sin is and just how sick it makes people. I pray for these families. I don't pray for the wicked, even though I know I should. That is something I'll have to work out with God because in my heart I want them to suffer horribly. That is a place my heart shouldn't be.

I had to post about this because of how angry I was. Sorry for my rant. Have a great day everyone!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

My Soapbox Is Out Of The Closet!

You all probably know how passionate I am about the things I believe in. If you've met me then you really know. When it comes to the things I love I roar like a lion. I can't help it, it just spills out. I recently read an article that upset me. A sports columnist razzed Tim Tebow for talking about God. Not only did this upset me as a Christian, it upset me as a US citizen. There are certain rights we enjoy in this country, rights that are guaranteed to us by the Constitution. Coming down on somebody for exercising those rights is wrong and that's why I wrote the letter. Here is the letter I sent in to my local paper, they printed it today. I'm very glad they did.


Letter: Sports columnist misses Tebow’s right to free speech

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I am writing this letter in response to the article written by Bill Foley on Nov. 22, the second part of the article titled “Tebow Factor.” I was angered and offended by many of his statements regarding Tebow. 
What I’m angered and offended by are Foley’s statements regarding Tim Tebow’s postgame interview on Nov. 18 after the Jets game. In the interview Tebow talked about God. From what I’ve seen Tebow is a pretty upstanding guy. I’m offended as a Christian and as a U.S. citizen by Foley’s attack on Tebow’s postgame interview.
This letter, however, is coming from me as a U.S. citizen who enjoys the rights and freedoms guaranteed to me. The First Amendment states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” These magnificent words are what guarantee Bill Foley can write out his thoughts and opinions each week. For him to attack Tebow for exercising his rights is deplorable. 
How is Tebow talking about his Lord and Savior any different than Foley writing his numerous opinions on many different subjects, or an actor broadcasting their political affiliations? I’m curious about something though, if Tebow was Muslim and had praised Allah would Foley have been so critical and quick to judge him? I think the answer to that question is no. 
Another statement from the article I want to address is this “with all the famine, violence, death, genocide, and war going on in the world, why would his Lord and Savior take such an interest in the Jets-Broncos game?” (para. 10).  Nobody is saying the game-winning drive against the Jets was divine intervention. Tebow is expressing himself. I don’t think God is interested in the football game, but I can guarantee you He is interested in the people playing the game. 
One of the many great things about this country is our freedom to choose what we believe and expressing that belief through our freedom of speech.  Nobody is asking or forcing Foley to acknowledge or believe in God, what I am asking is that he respects the right to exercise our rights.


Read more: http://mtstandard.com/news/opinion/mailbag/letter-sports-columnist-misses-tebow-s-right-to-free-speech/article_d2053c90-1bda-11e1-8421-001cc4c03286.html#ixzz1fIf1fa8y

Thursday, November 24, 2011

I'm Back and I'm Thankful

I'm not dead I've just been busy and dealing with stuff. I was prescribed a new medication that I started yesterday and I can't believe how good I feel. I haven't felt this good in well I don't know how long.

School is going great. I'm halfway through the session and so far doing well. If you're a regular at my blog then you know how much of a perfectionist I am. If you're not a regular well then you should be. I've also stated many times how much I struggle with math. It's going well, but to reduce stress my goal is to get a B. All of my other classes my goal is an A. I love school, it's so much fun.

I apologize for my silence. I have to admit I haven't even had time to read anybody's posts. I hope you are all doing well and having a wonderful holiday season. It's so fitting that Thanksgiving falls on Thankful Thursdays. I know I haven't done my regular Wednesday or Thursday posts in awhile, but today I am going to compose a list of the things I am thankful for. Instead of just doing ten, I am going to list and list until I can't think of anything else. If I forget anything, I'm blaming it on the pills :)

I'm Thankful...

  1. For Derek. We celebrated our 8 year anniversary 2 days ago. I have the greatest husband ever, God really out did Himself when He brought Derek to me.
  2. For my 3 beautiful, healthy, smart, helpful, and loving children. I couldn't ask for better kids. They make my heart full.
  3. For my Mama. This woman, let me tell you, is so amazing. I wouldn't be half the person I am today if I hadn't been raised by her. Part 2 of this is how thankful I am for her husband Bill. He has made her so happy and he is taking care of her in a way that she deserves. I can't believe the difference I "hear" in her since she got married. So Bill, thank you for loving my mom and sharing your life with her and teaching her some football :)
  4. For my Dad. I wrote a bit ago about how God really saved my Dad when he had his stroke. He is getting healthier. He's coming for a visit in a couple of weeks or so and I'm so excited to spend time with him.
  5. For my sisters. They are such wonderful people and I love them so much. Sarah Diane and Meggie, thank you for your love and friendship.
  6. For my church family. Let me tell you, the people I attend church with are some of the most wonderful, generous, and Christ-like people I have ever met. I count myself blessed to be able to attend a church where I have genuine, loving friends. To my church family, thank you for your prayers, friendship, love, and generous spirits. 
  7. For my dog Dubs. It may seem silly, but this dog is so amazing. I'm a huge animal lover and need to have animals around me. It was painful for me when I had to give Oscar and Moses away. Getting Dubs has been a balm to my heart. He's loyal, loving, and such a good dog. God blesses us in so many forms.
  8. For my new iPhone, Rutherford. I love this thing! It's so fun to use and so pretty!
  9. For new medication that allows me to feel great.
  10. For prayers. I don't think we'll ever know how these prayers affect our lives, but I know they do in huge ways. 
  11. For my neighbors, Such amazing, helpful people.
  12. For Christmas. My favorite time of year. People dispute whether Jesus was really born this time of year, but I don't think it matters exactly when He was born. What matters is that we are taking the time from all the craziness and thanking Him for...Him. Celebrating the Lord and His entrance to this world is I believe an essential action. Just sitting back and marveling at everything that is Him. Not asking Him for anything, not expecting Him to do anything, just sitting and loving Him. 
  13. For my house. This house is too small and has odd colors in various rooms, but it is free and warm and home. 
  14. For snow. It's so pretty and fun.
  15. For football. You had to see that coming :) The Pats are doing great. They look awesome. I get a little superstitious (even though I know it's silly) so I'm not going to mention the Big Game, but I'm thinking about it!
  16. For the opportunity to go to school and get a degree in something I love.
  17. That I gained weight. I feel much better now that I'm a little fatter :)
  18. For Christmas movies. I love them! I can't wait to watch Charlie Brown Christmas, The Grinch, Frosty, Rudolph, and It's A Wonderful Life. I'll cry and laugh and cheer.
  19. That we get to put up our tree tomorrow and decorate. It's gonna look like Christmas threw up in my house!
  20. I don't have to go shopping on "Black Friday". I'm done shopping. Derek is going to buy his present next week (yes you read that right). All we have to do is get stocking stuff. 
  21. Finally, I'm thankful that I know how blessed I am. That I get to be thankful for so many things. 
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May God bless you! 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Where's My Gumption?

I've lost my gumption.

Lately I feel so...pathetic. I figure it's the pain that's doing it, but I don't know how (that's it, just how). I don't know how to not feel pathetic. I don't know how to express my gratitude to Derek for how he takes care of me and the house since I can't do much. I don't know how to say thank you to those praying for me. I don't know how to tell my kids I'm sorry I can't do things with them because of the pain. I don't know how to say sorry to people when I have to cancel because of the pain or the pain meds. I don't know how to accurately describe to people what's going on (not that I want to, that leads to more patheticness). I don't know how to talk to God right now. Sometimes He feels close, but mostly He's silent. He's probably waiting for me to leave my pity party and go talk to Him.

I just feel angry sometimes. I know I have no right to that anger, but that doesn't make it any less real. I've asked, told, cried, screamed, and raged at God. I ask him, why? Why now? Have the last 3 years not been enough? Did I not go through enough when Derek got cancer? Or how about when I was separated from my kids for 2 months, or when I had to give my beloved dogs away? Or the ensuing chaos that resulted from the 3 above mentioned issues?

As I write these sentences I know the issue. The common theme through all of that was I. I has no business in our walks with Christ. In Genesis when God is forming the world He says US and OUR. That plural is God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Trinity is a perfect bond. A bond we need to mirror in our walk with God.

I guess I need to sit and be quiet. Let Him talk to me. Let Him wash away the anger, sadness, and patheticness. Just Let Him.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It's Late and I'm Up

So it's pretty late right now, about 11 p.m. my time. I'm up for mostly one reason: back pain.

I went to the neurologist today, I didn't find out much except that they are running more tests. Tests for diseases and such that might explain the chronic pain I've been suffering. I told the doctor the current medication I'm on does nothing for me so he gave me a new prescription. I'm supposed to work up to this dose. 25 mg for the first week, then go to 50 mg for the second week and so on. They're supposed to make you really sleepy. I took one at about 9:30 and another one at 10:30. So far, I don't feel much. I'm still in pain and not sleepy. Not sure what that means. Usually I'm pretty sensitive to medications, so I'm kinda puzzled.

My doctor was really nice. I was pretty worried because I read reviews that basically painted this guy as devil doctor. Pretty glad he wasn't. I had my bodyguard, Derek come with me just in case though :) I'm happy that this doctor seems committed to finding the cause of my pain. It's nice to know your doctor wants to make you better.

I submitted my projects for school yesterday. I had an essay due in English class. It was a position essay. We had to take an issue, explain both sides, pick a side, and then argue for the side we chose. I chose censorship, more specifically banning books in public schools. I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to make the essay long enough, but it ended up being 9 pages w/references. I'm pleased with how it turned out. The project in my Critical Thinking and Problem Solving class was a power point presentation on a leader in our chosen field. This project has been in the works for about a month or so. Since I'm majoring in computer forensics, I chose Steve Jobs. As most of you know, Steve Jobs passed away on October 5th. I'll admit when I heard that I cried. I had kinda gotten to know him. Well, as much as you can get to know someone you are studying. I found over my research what an amazing, hardworking man he was. He started Apple out of his parents' garage in 1976 with a childhood friend. He built it into one of the most profitable companies in the world. Very amazing man. If any of you use Apple products then you know how absolutely superior they are. I feel pretty good about the power point. It's funny, I worried way more about the power point than I did writing my paper. Writing is easy for me, designing a presentation like that is harder. I did my absolute best, that's all I can ask of myself.

I'm worried about my second semester. I'm taking Math which I am horrible at. Like ridiculously awful at it. I'm also taking Science and Nutrition. I think this class is going to be fun. I'm hoping I can get good grades in both.

Well, that's enough of my late night rant. I hope it all made sense despite pills and lack of sleep. God bless!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Marvelous Sunday

Do you ever have those days that completely rejuvenate you? That was my Sunday.

I woke up today not expecting much. I was determined to go to church despite any pain I might experience. I took the medicine the doctors prescribed before we went to stave off the pain (the medicine sucks by the way, but it takes the edge off the pain).

Everybody got ready and we went to church. Worship was amazing. I love worship, it totally prepares my heart for the message. Our pastor and his two daughters do the worship and let me tell you they are amazing. I love it. The message was great. It really resonated with me. Afterward I was able to fellowship with friends. One great friend in particular was amazing. I unloaded and he just listened. He was understanding and didn't judge. I unloaded about my anger towards God for all of the stuff Derek and I have gone through. I hate the anger and my attitude, but it just sits there like an unmovable boulder.

Then he said something that blew me away. He went through some stuff and he said he kept asking God why. He realized it's not the why. It's the who. I was like IT IS THE WHO! HE can move the unmovable boulder of anger. HE can comfort me. HE can walk with me in this odd and painful journey. HE WILL take care of me, Derek, and my beautiful children. I instantly felt so much lighter. My heart feels joyful for the first time in a long time. I'm enjoying life and I'm excited about life for the first time in a long time. Before we left our pastor and this good friend of ours prayed over Derek and I. It was wonderful. I felt God in our little circle. He is moving and working. The best thing of all? He loves me, unconditionally.

I love this day. God is so good. I'm also excited for this Friday. We get to go to dinner and fellowship with good friends. Then I get to go to a movie with Natasha and Melissa, it's going to be awesome!! God is drawing me close and I'm loving it.

P.S. A prayer request: I'm seeing a neurologist this Wednesday the 19th. Please just pray the doctor is nice and they can figure out what is going on. Thanks guys. Have a great Monday!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Do You Ever Marvel?

Do you ever marvel at God's goodness? I have today. Aren't you humbled when He does something wonderful we completely don't deserve? I was today.

I got a text about 1 that my Rutherford had indeed made it into the local store! It was so awesome! I have been playing with him for hours and he is wonderful and so worth the wait. God is so good to me. After being told my phone wouldn't come in until next week, He has him come in today. When He does things like this for me, it makes me in completely awe of Him. God is good!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

A Name And Some News

The pre-order for iPhone 4s's has been the largest pre-order in history or something so the AT&T store here in Butte is only getting one of them...in black. Since I was first on the list I could have taken it, but I really want a white one so I'm waiting. They should be in sometime next week.

Along that same line though, I have picked a name! His name shall be...Rutherford! Gabrielle submitted it and I love it. It was a hard decision between the name Aragon which Natasha submitted and Rutherford. I decided upon Rutherford, it's a little more nerdy and therefore more me :) Thank you for the names!

I will let you all know when Rutherford comes home. I already got a case for him. I'll include a picture, it's adorable! Have a great day everyone!



Wednesday, October 12, 2011

It's BACK!

Here is an installment of Wordy Wednesday! Have you missed it? I've missed writing it, so here you are with a dose of vocab words!


I love the word etymology. It's a gorgeous word that is fun to say. The meaning is one I hold very dear.


et·y·mol·o·gy  
noun

  1. the derivation of a word
  2. a chronological account of the birth and development of aparticular word or element of a word, often delineating itsspread from one language to another and its evolvingchanges in form and meaning.
  3. the study of historical linguistic change, especially asmanifested in individual words.
A word I hate is deform. It's such a nasty word. You hear it and cringe, any word that brings about that kind of reaction is not a good word.

de·form  
verb
  1. to mar the natural form or shape of; put out of shape; disfigure
  2. to make ugly, ungraceful, or displeasing; mar the beautyof; spoil
  3. to change the form of; transform.


2 Days People! 2 Days!

I will choose the name of my iPhone tomorrow and bring him home on Friday! I'm going to share a video that demonstrates one of the amazing new features on the iPhone 4s. Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

And The Number Is...

3 days! I'm sure you know of which I am referring, but I'm so excited! Tomorrow is the last day to submit names. There are some good ones, I'm excited to pick one and name him. He's gonna be so pretty! Have a great day everyone!

Monday, October 10, 2011

I Really Don't Like...

I really don't like it when the soap falls on your foot in the shower! It hurts so bad! Then when you go to put it back it slips again, Grrr!

I really don't like slow drivers. I don't understand it. I'm not asking you to speed, JUST GO THE SPEED LIMIT!

I really don't like people that don't use their turn signals, that is what your blinker is for. You are supposed to notify the drivers around you that you are going to make a turn. It's not like it's a real chore to turn your blinker on. Not only that, but the blinker makes the best sound ever! I love it!

I really don't like people who are rude. There is no reason for it at all. Oooh when somebody is rude I'm so tempted to be rude back, but I hold it in.

I really don't like people who cut in line. I mean HELLO! Did you not see me standing here with a cart full of groceries waiting to pay for them?!? They saw me, they are just so unbelievably arrogant. They think the world revolves around them.

I really don't like people that are in a hurry and act like mean little jerks when they are at the store or Starbucks. You should have left earlier so you had time to go to the store or get coffee. Don't take it out on others.

I really don't like people who go hiking in areas that are known for bears and then they get hurt or killed and they blame the bear and kill it. I'm deeply sorry for the families of the victims, but I get so frustrated that bears are being killed because somebody wandered into their home. Think about it- if some stranger is in your backyard. You don't know them, you don't know why they are there. What is your first instinct? To attack! We do it as humans and we aren't ruled by our instincts, but bears are! Grrr...

Ok, so that is a bit of a list. I needed to let some steam off. Thanks for listening to me rant. You are great friends. Thank you :)

And The Days Are Left At...

4! 4 days until my still nameless iPhone comes home. So far Natasha and Gabrielle are the only ones who have contributed names, good names I might add :) So if anyone else can think of any good names for my iPhone send them my way! Have a great day!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

5 Days

5 days until he comes home! I could totally bore you with all my nerd talk about how beautiful and amazing this phone is going to be, but I won't. Happy Sunday Everyone!

Here he is in all his glory!