"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"

~Philippians 1:6

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Secondhand Pride

I don't do secondhand stores. At least I didn't before. There was something about wearing clothes that someone else had done only who knows what that really creeped me out. Then I had a friend tell me that clothes in department stores have been worn before and who knows what they're doing in the dressing rooms. It was a light bulb-aha moment.

My two big wardrobe cravings are jeans and shoes. Yesterday I decided to go look at the secondhand stores in town to see what they had to offer. I found some awesome stuff! I found 2 pairs of Levis for $12 a piece. I found a couple of really cute shirts, one for $4 and one for $6. I usually can't find one pair of decent jeans for $24 let alone 2! I was pretty proud of myself.

My birthday was 2 weeks from yesterday. It's on Friday the 13th this year. I'm so excited. I only remember it being on Friday the 13th one other time. I'm thinking it's a good time to do a horror movie marathon. I love me some good horror/scary movies. But the BIG reason I'm excited for my birthday is...(drum roll please)...TOWN TALK CAKE! They seriously have the best cake I've ever had. I make myself sick off of it. I get a way bigger cake than I need just so I can gorge myself on it for a week after my birthday (I should be able to catch up on my weight gain then). Then 10 days later Derek gets one! Ya baby!

I got my present yesterday. You all know that Derek and I do our presents like that right? Well, if not that's how we roll. We don't surprise each other either. We ask each other what we want and then we say "Sounds great, go ahead and order it." People think we're insane, but it totally works for us. I'm really weird about buying stuff. I have to research for like a month or so before I commit to a purchase. Derek ordered his present yesterday, he's getting a saw. Anyway, I got a Wii! Ya, it's pretty cool. Only draw back is that it doesn't have an HDMI port! What kind of device doesn't have an HDMI port?!? Seriously! I'll deal though. The kids played a little today and they had fun. I had the wrist strap so tight I think it might've been cutting off circulation (not really). I'm so paranoid about the controller going flying and hitting my nice TV.

Derek and I going out on a date tonight. I'm so excited to spend time with My Hubby AND I get to eat a steak! A nice, juicy, blood rare steak. It's gonna be awesome!

So I found my running shoes, but I haven't tried them on yet. They are just really pretty. So they might be hideously uncomfortable. I'm hoping not though. I haven't decided on the red or purple ones just yet.

Well, I'm gonna sign off and play my Wii now! Have a great Saturday and a great Sunday tomorrow. God bless!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Inspired By...

Because I have no idea what to write about but needing to write I'm going to cheat and steal my sister's idea for her post today.

Random Thoughts and Happenings

I paid a lot of our bills today. This is a big feat for me because I hate money and avoid it as much as possible. Derek and I have been working on it. I don't get pukey nervous (as much) at the thought of money and paying bills.

I'm avoiding eating right now. If Derek reads this I'm in so much trouble. I'm being serious. I talked to him on the phone a bit ago and the last thing he said to me was "don't forget to eat". I know what you're thinking 'who forgets to eat?' Actually, I do. I also hate it. GASP! I know it's weird to hate eating, but it's such a chore to me. Don't get me wrong, I love to cook and bake-it's wonderful. I also love a really good steak (blood rare by the way). I love Mexican food and junk food and mall Chinese food-I'm getting off track here. What was I writing about?

Oh ya, my eating avoidance. Avoiding food when you have a metabolism like mine is really bad too. I know anybody reading will probably hate my guts after this but here you go. If I skip a meal I can lose like 2 lbs and not willingly. It just happens. As a side note I'd like to say that obese people aren't the only who suffer with their weight. Being too skinny sucks. Because let's face it being too skinny isn't attractive just like being obese isn't attractive. It's really hard for a lot of people to gain weight just like it's hard to lose weight. Which transitions nicely to my main point (sheesh this is taking longer than I thought)

So I have this metabolism issue that makes it hard to gain weight PLUS I hate to eat. I'm not anorexic either so get that outta your head. Remeber Willy Wonka and that pill they had for the 4 course dinner or whatever. Somebody needs to totally invent that!!

I made an appointment for Dubs to get groomed tomorrow and have a heart worm test done. It's gonna be expensive cause the big lug weighs a ton now, but I'd rather pay someone to do it then to fight him into my too small bath tub.

Now that I look over my post maybe I should have posted it avoidances. I avoid a lot of stuff.

I'm gonna buy some new running shoes (Dubs chewed up one of mine when he was a puppy). I'm gonna force myself to do some running. I have some friends who want to start running and I need some people to keep me accountable.

I got my hair cut yesterday by Kat and it's super awesome!! I love Kat, she's so fun and her cousin Chrissy is super awesome too. Derek went to high school with them and I met them when we were out one night. They aren't mean girls so I'm happy to count them as friends.

Hey look everybody I sound like an 80's 7th grader. Go Me!

Ok I'm going to go eat now. I know Derek will ask me in another hour if I actually ate and I don't want to lie or upset him so...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Would Be 92 Years Old

Tomorrow is Grandma Kay's 92nd birthday and she's not here to share it with us. She's in heaven with Jesus. Her body is whole and I imagine she is so very happy.

I believe God has given her a window to look down at us from heaven. I bet she is so delighted by my kids. She loved them all so dearly. She had this amazing special bond with Alexander. My thought is that he reminded her of Derek when he was little. There isn't a day that goes by that Alexander doesn't talk about her. He mentions things they did together when he was little little. I think God is preserving his memories of her.

We're going to the cemetery tomorrow as a family. Alexander asked me if we could bring her presents. I told him no because they would just sit there at her grave. Being a child and so full of faith he said "God can come down, grab her presents and take them to her in heaven right? I was like umm...ya (cause seriously how do you respond to that?). I told him we'll bring her flowers instead.

I have such a hard time with her death. She was one of the most special people in my life.

I used to hate her.

Derek and I moved to Butte when Alexander was 3 months old. We had to move into her basement because we couldn't sell our house in Yakima. She was gruff and demanding and had all of these ways she liked things. It irritated me. She used to say things to get a rise out of me. She used to say things to try and get me to fight with her. I ignored her and smiled. Mostly because I wasn't going to fight an old lady and also I was a little scared of her. I used to vent to Derek when he'd get home from work. All mean and nasty things.

I talked to our pastor's wife from Yakima (she's such an awesome lady) and she told me to pray that God would soften my heart toward her.

So I did. A lot.

This amazing thing happened! He did it! He filled my heart with such love for this woman, it overwhelmed  me. I enjoyed going to the store for her, I enjoyed doing the cleaning she couldn't anymore because of her arthritis. I became one of her favorite people too. We used to sit and have tea together. One of the only reasons Griz was born healthy and not pre-mature was because my 88 year old grandmother took my two toddlers for half a day every day for like 6-8 weeks. This woman absolutely amazed me. I could tell you countless stories about how strong she was. How big of a heart she had.

I lost a piece of my heart the day she died. She hung on so she could see Derek one last time to ensure that he was indeed ok after the cancer ( I don't think she believed us when we said he was doing ok).

What I wouldn't give to smell her again. To give her a hug. To hear the same stories she always told, but never failed to delight me. To tell her I love her and have her get all embarrassed and play it off but say quietly that she loved me too. To see her with my kids now that they're older. She would be so delighted in the little boy Alexander is today and how smart he is. She would love Ashley and her smile and little girl voice. She would laugh at Griz and how "manly" he is. Gosh I miss her.

Tomorrow is going to be hard for all of us.

I'm praying for strength.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Alive and Kickin'

I'm alive, just a little overwhelmed and emotional. I will write about my vacation and the great time my kids and I had.

I'll write when I feel less like crying and with not as many thoughts swirling and swirling. Too much going on up in my head.

Ramblings these are, I know. Thanks for reading anyway.