"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"

~Philippians 1:6

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

It's Hard To Be Honest

I'm a pretty honest person. I always have been. The first time I said a cuss word, I went home and told my mom I said it.

It's a lot harder to be honest when it comes to character flaws. I have tons of them (no, really I do). One of them being I spend way too much time on the computer. This is really hard to admit.

Today has been a day full of disobedience and discipline. I've felt like all I've done is yell/spank(yes I do that)/pray with them and repeat. To escape it I get on the computer which only makes things worse because I neglect some of their bad behavior. I know they act up to get my attention too. Writing this makes me feel like a terrible mother. I just don't know how to break the cycle.

I make excuses about why I'm on here and blah blah blah. I get my "chores" done, I reason to myself, but it's the quality of day to day life that is suffering. I could do more around the house and play more with my kids etc...

Please pray that I would not be consumed with the computer. That I would enjoy my children and be more active with them during the day. I know I would see a significant improvement in their behavior.

I'm out of words for now. This post, however, does not convey how bad I feel about this.


  1. I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me. I have the same problem. Getting on the computer helps me feel more connected with the "outside world". But like you I tend to ignore some (a lot) things. I understand how hard it is to "like' your kids when all you've done is spank them. Thank you for being honest. I will be praying for you.

  2. I had this very same experience and still do. I took a computer fast. Do it for as long as you need. No obligation to read others' blogs. No obligation to post. Don't even turn it on. Try it for like two days. Or, have a computer fast day once a week.
    I too suffer with neglecting the kids and basically barking at them to leave me alone when my computer is open. Take a much needed break!!!
    R <><
    praying for you