We have a house! And while I'm very excited right now, my heart remains sad.
I've angry, frustrated, and irritable while waiting for a house. These emotions have been directed at God, Derek, and my other loved ones. I acted terribly. All because I didn't trust God to come through. I've seen Him do amazing things and I didn't trust Him.
I think back to how it felt when I lost the trust of somebody I loved. It hurt-bad. And I'm just a sinful human being who deserved to lose that trust. God obviously didn't do a thing to lose my trust. He sent His Son to die on the cross for me. He redeemed me. He comforts me. He keeps my children and husband safe. He provides my material needs. And I let him down because He didn't fit into my time table.
I'm deeply ashamed and remorseful. I'm just thankful He's forgiving.