Do you ever suddenly feel angry or irritated? I really hope not because it is a helpless and upsetting feeling. The pills I'm on cause mood swings and all of the sudden I'll find myself angry or irritated with everybody around me. I've been able to recognize it now and I just have to get by myself and pray, read, or write. Sometimes all three. The problem too is once I know I'm angry for no reason I get even angrier! So frustrating. I'm not an angry person at all. Passionate? Yes, but angry? No. This is one of those times and because I don't want to ruin anybody's Sunday I decided to retreat to my room and sit on my messy bed to write it all out.
Remember how I told you I took my finals? Well, I checked my grades for the millionth time and saw my math grade. Before I reveal my math grade I'm going to re-iterate my tendency for perfectionism. Perfect in this case would be an A. This tendency gets so bad sometimes that I actually feel embarrassed to tell people grades and what not that aren't perfect. I know I tried my hardest and I should be proud I even passed my math class with how much I struggled, but anyway. I got a B. I missed getting an A by 15 points. I go through and think of all the areas I could've done more to make up those 15 points. I will struggle with this for awhile, but I'll eventually get over it. Poor Derek has to hear me lament my B. I know he's proud of me though and that makes up for a little bit of my shame.
My sister had surgery on Friday, I'm happy to report she is hungry, but doing well. I wish I could of been there to help, but my prayers from afar will have to suffice.
Well, I should finish getting ready for church. I don't want to hold the show up. Thanks for listening.
On a side note...7 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!
At least you can blame pills for your mood swings. That's just me without pills!
ReplyDeleteI understand the perfectionism deal all too well. I'da been pissed at myself for a B, too. But as your sister and knowing how hard you worked, I'm so freaking proud of you for that B!
Seriously, Christmas is only a week away! I can't wait! I'm glad you get to spend it with your dad. That's gotta be awesome.
Be proud of that B, Erica!
Your feelings about not getting an A are not stupid. I feel the same way about my grades. You are so smart and your doing so well in school. I'm so proud of you. About your anger issues...get a punching bag!!! And just beat the shit out of it when you get pissed!!
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