Dear Chad Johnson (not ochocinco, Wide Receiver for the Patriots),
I refuse to use ochocinco even if you did legally change your name. What happens when you're career is done and you fade into football obscurity? You'll be somewhere and they'll say "last name please" you'll say "ochocinco" and they're gonna look at you and they're gonna say "we asked for your last name sir not your age." This is what will happen should you screw up in New England.
I have never been a particular fan of yours. Your loud mouth has always put me off. I don't like the show boating (even if you are that good and no one is ever that good). You don't see Tom Brady or Peyton Manning show boating after they throw their 3rd touchdown pass do you? You must be decent if Bill Belichick is willing to take you and lose a draft pick.
I have decided to give you a chance. I'm going to keep an open mind about you. Now don't go thinking we're best friends or anything, but I'm willing not to bad mouth you to every single person I meet. So good luck and don't screw up.
A Skeptical Almost Maybe Fan