Do you ever have those days that completely rejuvenate you? That was my Sunday.
I woke up today not expecting much. I was determined to go to church despite any pain I might experience. I took the medicine the doctors prescribed before we went to stave off the pain (the medicine sucks by the way, but it takes the edge off the pain).
Everybody got ready and we went to church. Worship was amazing. I love worship, it totally prepares my heart for the message. Our pastor and his two daughters do the worship and let me tell you they are amazing. I love it. The message was great. It really resonated with me. Afterward I was able to fellowship with friends. One great friend in particular was amazing. I unloaded and he just listened. He was understanding and didn't judge. I unloaded about my anger towards God for all of the stuff Derek and I have gone through. I hate the anger and my attitude, but it just sits there like an unmovable boulder.
Then he said something that blew me away. He went through some stuff and he said he kept asking God why. He realized it's not the why. It's the who. I was like IT IS THE WHO! HE can move the unmovable boulder of anger. HE can comfort me. HE can walk with me in this odd and painful journey. HE WILL take care of me, Derek, and my beautiful children. I instantly felt so much lighter. My heart feels joyful for the first time in a long time. I'm enjoying life and I'm excited about life for the first time in a long time. Before we left our pastor and this good friend of ours prayed over Derek and I. It was wonderful. I felt God in our little circle. He is moving and working. The best thing of all? He loves me, unconditionally.
I love this day. God is so good. I'm also excited for this Friday. We get to go to dinner and fellowship with good friends. Then I get to go to a movie with Natasha and Melissa, it's going to be awesome!! God is drawing me close and I'm loving it.
P.S. A prayer request: I'm seeing a neurologist this Wednesday the 19th. Please just pray the doctor is nice and they can figure out what is going on. Thanks guys. Have a great Monday!