Last night and today so far have been rough. Derek has been pretty sick. They are going to give him some stronger anti-nausea meds that hopefully will work better. Please pray.
Some of my personal issues are remembering to rely on the Lord. Right now I'm internalising all of this and it isn't having a good effect on my mind and spirit. Please pray that I go to God for ALL of it. I want to learn and grow all I can from this experience and so far I feel as if I'm floundering. I feel pretty isolated as well. For quite awhile now I've had Derek and my kids to take care of and now I don't. It's an odd feeling that I don't like.
When you're stay at home mom sometimes all you crave is alone time (at least for me). Or selfish time as I'm learning to see it. Now I feel like the Israelites in the desert when they got tired of manna and kept crying and complaining that they wanted meat. God finally gave it to them until it came out their noses. I'm gonna bet they got tired of meat and were satisfied with their manna. I craved alone time so much and now God has given it to me in abundance.
I'm now thankful and wistful for those packed days. Those days that revolved around meal times, nap times, grocery shopping, playing, cleaning, and most importantly loving. These are the lessons that I pray are written on my heart and remembered always.
As always, we are thankful for your prayers. I pray everyone is doing well.