Hello to you all! I hope your fellowship at church was enlightening and nourishing. I apologize for the lack of updates. The truth is that there isn't much to report. Right now we are waiting for his counts to come in. We are Day 11 today and Day 13 is usually when counts come in. In case I didn't explain before about the counts I will now. The chemo killed off Derek's cells. They do daily blood draws to keep track of how is counts are progressing. His white count right now is zero. Which is why we have to be so careful about germs. When Brian's stem cells graph Derek's white count will start to go up. Derek's system will accept Brian's cells, Brian's cells (which are Derek's now) will then go through Derek's system and kill all of the fibrosis to make room for the new cells being made. So right now we are waiting to see Derek's white count go up so we know the transplant was successful. I hope that made sense. If not, in a comment ask questions I will try to clarify.
God has been so faithful and amazing. I'm going to be completely bare in my writings here. I pray that in doing so everyone reading will be able to be apart of our journey. This weekend was pretty rough. My mom and the kids left Thursday and to be honest I was a wreck. I didn't turn to God like I should have. Instead I wallowed in my sadness.
Friday night I was forced to my knees to repent of the state of my heart. I cried out to God. I asked Him to please show me something. To let me know He was still there. I opened up my Bible to a non-specific place and I ended up on the title page for the book of Job. While it is quite laughable I felt that God was indeed telling me something. I was looking through Job and I came to a part that really spoke to my heart.
Job 42:1-6 KJV
(1)"Then Job answered the lord, and said (2) I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. (3) Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? Therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me to, which I knew not. (4) Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee (question thee), and declare thou unto me. (5) I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear; but now mine eye seeth thee; (6) Wherefore I abhor(despise) myself, and repent in dust and ashes."
The title of that section is "Job Submits to God". That's exactly what I did. I repented and submitted myself to God. The anxiety I was feeling went away at that point. I experienced "peace that surpasseth all understanding". It was wonderful and amazing. God wants me to Himself. He wants my thoughts and actions to be completely surrendered to Him.
I read psalm 34 this morning, which I recommend reading. You can do that here. It's amazing!
I will add one more thing to this lengthy entry. I'm sure most of you are familiar with Psalm 37:4
"Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
I've read this verse tons of times and this never registered with me. If I'm delighting myself in the Lord the desires of my heart will be only Him! So instead of a long list of I wants and I need. My list will have one very large and important thing on it: Christ. He's already given that to me. Anything else is dessert.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your prayers, they are definitely working.