I Have A Date

No not that kind of date...I wish. I have a date for my surgery, February 22nd. I have insurance coverage for the month of February.

I have to be honest and say I was a little relieved that it got cancelled. I was getting pretty scared to have it done. I'm also nervous about the kids. I know the house and the people in it will survive while I'm out of comission, but I don't like that I might be unaware of things around me because of pain medication. I also don't like that for about a week I might not be involved in every aspect of my children's lives. I don't like this feeling of being out of control. Maybe God is trying to teach me something through this.

Pray for me if you would. I would appreciate it.

Video Of Asher And Oscar

Nothing Nada Zilch Nein

I have absolutely nothing to write about. Just thought I'd let you know. Maybe you guys could help me out and give me a subject or something. Geez!

It's not like I'm pregnant and have something to blog about. So there ya go. There is my post for today.

Part 2: Isaiah 12:1-6

It's taken me awhile to post "part 2", but I feel a little overwhelmed with everything that is going on. God has been amazing though. I had a break down yesterday and doubted Him. He came through though just like He promised He would.


Isaiah 12:1-6 is a great passage and since it is so long I am providing the link so you can read it. He gave me this the day I got out of the hospital from having Ashley. I had to leave my little girl behind and it killed me to do so. I was desperate for something and this is what He gave me.

The passage talks about praising Him for He has done excellent things. That He is our salvation and strength. I often forget that in times like this. You'd think I would remember it, but when things get desperate and hard I tend to feel like I need to do it all myself. That's when we should lean heaviest on Him. He loves to comfort us.

I didn't have a dad around all the time growing up. So the picture of God being our Father really comforted me. I picture myself going to God upset and He picks me up, puts me on His lap, and wipes my tears away. Something I always wanted my earthly father to do.

When He blesses my heart with Scripture that's exactly what He is doing. He is wiping my tears away with His divine words.

We'll see if I can get "part 3" on here soon. He has blessed me tremendously with Scripture, I hope that some of what He gave me can bless you as well.

Part 1: Psalm 66:20

You know that surgery I was supposed to have? Well, I didn't get it. My insurance had lapsed which I didn't know about. My doctor didn't want to do the surgery so he cancelled it 2 days before the scheduled date. It was a very tough day to say the least. Then Derek needs a new job which is stressful. We have options and I know that, but what direction does God want us to go in?

I was worried, stressed, and heartbroken this week. I went to God seeing as how He is our Comforter. I found this paper in my Bible, on one side a Psalm was written. The date I wrote was 6/15/06. That is significant because that is the day we brought Ashley home. You might remember from this post My Sweet Little Girl that Ashley spent a week in the hospital. That morning I was doing my devotions before I went up to the hospital to see Ashley, God gave me Psalm 66:20 "Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor His mercy from me." It was a comfort that morning, but it was even more of a comfort when I went to the hospital and they told me I was going to be taking my sweet little girl home! He gave that to me now, when I am worried, stressed, and heartbroken over everything that is going on. I know that He hears me and will not turn His mercy away.

God is good!

Posting In Installments

What a week it's been! I'm going to have 4 new posts. The Lord has shown me so much this week and I don't want 1 huge post so I am going to divide it up by the verses He has used. So stay tuned there is much more to come!

How We Met

Sarah asked "How did you and Derek meet?"

Derek and I met at church. He was greeting outside with Shea and as Mom and I were walking up she said "maybe you will meet a guy here, ha ha" I shook his hand and remember thinking how good looking he was. I found out later that after we went into church Shea told Derek that he thought I was "The One" for him.

Our church was pretty small then and the average age of the attending was well older than me. Derek was one of the only single guys who was near my age so we would talk after church in the basement getting to know eachother. He is 8 years older than me so I didn't think anything would ever come of it. We became good friends and then on January 24th, 2003 we were talking on the phone and he asked me if I had eaten dinner. I told him no and he asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him. I obviously said yes and he drove from Yakima to Grandview, picked me up, and we went to Red Robin in Tri-Cities.

On the date the conversation was amazing. It was never awkward and we had plenty to talk about. He made me laugh and he opened my door for me, which I don't ever remember a guy doing for me before.

That is just the initial meeting and first date. There are so many amazing things that God did during our courtship. I was just getting to know God and discovering the Bible. I prayed fervently about our relationship and because of that God led and wrote our love story. I can't wait to tell my kids someday how Derek and I met. It's such a testament to God and what He can do when you let Him.

Answer To A Question

Rachel asked "Do you ever feel like you have access to the All-Powerful God, but you don't know how to really use the power?"

That's heavy. I do feel like that. I always feel like I'm shortchanging myself in my relationship with God. That maybe if I tried harder and read more I would know Him better and if I knew Him better I would know how to use His power.

I think using God's power would be for things like witnessing and prayer. I don't feel like I pray very effectively or witness effectively for that matter. Does that make sense? I hope so.

The Encouragement I Needed

I'm having surgery this Friday. I'm pretty nervous about it. I was praying this morning that God would give me some Scripture that would calm my heart. God and I have always had a kind of system when I read the Bible. I don't know if you would call it a system necessarily, but I don't know what else to call it.

Anyway, whenever I really need Scripture to speak to me I ask God to show me something. So I open my Bible where ever and look at the pages. I did that today and He gave me Jeremiah 17:7&8, that's right Mom :) Those verses say "7Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. 8For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit."

It was just what I needed to calm down. I love how intimately He knows us. I don't know how people do it who don't know Him. When things like this are happening, what do they do? Who do they go to for comfort?

I thought I'd share with you how awesome God is, but I'm sure you already knew that :)

Dry Spell

I am on a little bit of a dry spell. I can't seem to find a single thing to blog about. So I will take a cue from Sarah and invite the 3 people that read my blog to ask me questions.

I look forward to hearing from you!

He's On His Way To Underwear

I am closer to getting goal #1 completed. Alexander pooped in toilet yesterday for the first time! I didn't think I'd ever be this excited about poop, but I was so proud of him.

I could tell he was scared, but he sat there and did it. He was proud of himself too. My mom called yesterday and he got on the phone with her and proudly said "I pooped in the toilet!" He talked about it all day long.

My cousin Katherine gave me this website, http://pottytrainingconcepts.com that has advice and potty charts you can print out. I printed one out and taped on the wall next to the toilet. Every time he goes potty on the toilet he gets to color on his chart. He loves it. It's very effective.

Now the idea is to get him to KEEP going in the toilet. Pee is no problem, but the pooping can be an issue.

If you have any suggestions or tips I'd love to hear them.

God Is So Good!

God is awesome! I love that He cares about what seem to be insignificant things. What I'm learning is that nothing about us is insignificant to Him.

Last night or should I say Very early this morning at 12:30 a.m. Alexander woke up crying and very upset. He wouldn't get in bed with us and at first wouldn't get in my lap. I thought that maybe he had a nightmare. I started to sing "Jesus Loves Me", that's what I always sing to the kids. It calmed him some, but he was still pretty upset. He said that he was scared. I asked him if he wanted me to pray and he tearfully replied "yes". I started to pray and it went kind of like this:

"Jesus, I just ask right now that you would comfort Alexander and take away his nightmare and help him not to be scared. Hold him and love him, Lord Jesus. We ask all of these things in Jesus's Name. Amen."

Before I even said Amen he was asleep! Isn't that awesome!? I know that God wrapped His arms around Alexander and took away all of his fear.

Phillipians 4:6&7: "6Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

How true these verses are! God is Good!

I Was Inspired

I was inspired by Sarah's New Year post. I will make a list of things I'd LIKE to get done or accomplish. Not that I will necessarily accomplish all of these things, but I think it's nice to have goals.

So that's what I'm going to call them: Goals (not necessarily in order)

1. Fully potty train Alexander
2. Teach Alexander his ABC's
3. Teach Alexander to count to 10
4. Teach Ashley her ABC's
5. Teach Ashley to count to 10
6. Buy a bigger vehicle WITH CASH
7. Bake a pie from scratch
8. Make lasagna from scratch
9. Get in shape
10. Get half of my novel written (it could happen)

So there they are, my 10 goals for this year. I will let you know if I think of anymore OR if I accomplish any of 'em.

Getting It Out There For Some Accountability

I've only told a couple of people and even that was hard, but I am writing a novel. A Christian fiction novel. Maybe reading all those books gave me the idea but I feel like I have this story inside of me. Maybe God gave me the story. I don't even know if the story is good, but I know I have to write it.

I was researching writing a novel and this website said that instead of keeping it a secret you should tell as many people as possible so you have some accountability. You are obligated to finish what you started. I thought there was no better way than to post it on my blog.

I love to write and once I get over my hang ups and let myself write the story it isn't too bad. My problem is that I keep second guessing myself around every corner. I wonder if the grammar is right or if it's realistic. I drive myself crazy. I had to get out of bed the other night to write down some paragraphs that were swirling around in my head. I couldn't sleep until I got them out of my head. They say it takes 2-3 years to finish the average novel. At the rate I'm going it's going to take 3-5 years. Hopefully not though.

So there ya go. This is me being honest about something that has plagued me for about a year. Maybe posting this will take the pressure off. I certainly hope so.

Sacrifices...The Good Kind

Derek asked me something that was very interesting. He asked "Do you think we are asked to give up our dreams to help our children realize theirs?"

That got me to thinking. I absolutely think so. Look at Jesus. He gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we could have the ultimate dream-Heaven.

I had this dream when I was a little girl. I wanted to be a model. I tried last year. I went to this thing where there were a bunch of modeling agents. They didn't chose me. I was pretty upset for a while. After much prayer I had a realization. The kind that only God can provide. Modeling requires a lot of away time from home. Time away from my kids and husband. Time away that meant I wouldn't be making lunch, praying, kissing boo boos, kissing goodnight, and giving horsey rides. Now that I think about it, I'm so glad. I'm glad God knew better what I wanted. I would make that "sacrifice" again ten more times.

Just one more thing God refined in me.